Haven't Missed Much
Well, the Twins have had what every child wishes for the night before school: A snow day! In fact, we had back-to-back snow days. So there really is not a lot to talk about as far as game results go. That may be a good thing since I have been a bit busy and when I wasn't busy, I was lazy. This does provide me an opportunity to talk about some recent events in Twindom. So I'll talk about ma boy and the Twins best offseason signing.
First, ma boy Justin Morneau made his return against Detroit. Boy did he make his presence known. J-Mo jacked a shot into the right field bleachers that gave Percival his second blown save against us this year. I remember when we had never scored an earned run against him. It isn't that hard to recall because it was less than a month ago. Since then we have completely owned his ass. Percy is getting old. But I digress, back to Dr. Morneau. His homer gave every Twin a reason to relax. He's healthy and not feeling the effects of that pitch to the noggin. Great to see, considering he is our most dangerous hitter. The recent lack of scoring the Twins have displayed and Justin Morneau being out of the lineup is no coincidence. Expect the offense to pick it back up.
Now I must address a Twins offseason pickup. Rickey Henderson quietly signed with the Twins before the season. Secretly because people would worry he is old and not an effective player and the Twins wanted to avoid controversy. Boy were the doubters wrong! Rickey has ten steals and has yet to be thrown out. At his current pace he will have 95 steals, shattering the team record of 62 held by the "human hot dog target" Chuck Knoblauch. Now of course you are saying, "But Jon, Rickey Henderson isn't on the Twins! I checked at baseball reference." I have the inside scoop and know for a fact he is playing in disguise. Look carefully in centerfield. He's wearing #48 and his jersey says "Hunter" but he is not Torii. Torii Hunter has never had more than 23 steals in a season. No way is this basepath mence T-Hunt. If you still don't believe me, think back to the game against Detroit in the first inning. "Hunter" totally missed a routine popup and gave the Tigers a triple. Torii Hunter would never do that, would he? Case closed. Welcome the Twins newest centerfielder Torii Henderson.
First, ma boy Justin Morneau made his return against Detroit. Boy did he make his presence known. J-Mo jacked a shot into the right field bleachers that gave Percival his second blown save against us this year. I remember when we had never scored an earned run against him. It isn't that hard to recall because it was less than a month ago. Since then we have completely owned his ass. Percy is getting old. But I digress, back to Dr. Morneau. His homer gave every Twin a reason to relax. He's healthy and not feeling the effects of that pitch to the noggin. Great to see, considering he is our most dangerous hitter. The recent lack of scoring the Twins have displayed and Justin Morneau being out of the lineup is no coincidence. Expect the offense to pick it back up.
Now I must address a Twins offseason pickup. Rickey Henderson quietly signed with the Twins before the season. Secretly because people would worry he is old and not an effective player and the Twins wanted to avoid controversy. Boy were the doubters wrong! Rickey has ten steals and has yet to be thrown out. At his current pace he will have 95 steals, shattering the team record of 62 held by the "human hot dog target" Chuck Knoblauch. Now of course you are saying, "But Jon, Rickey Henderson isn't on the Twins! I checked at baseball reference." I have the inside scoop and know for a fact he is playing in disguise. Look carefully in centerfield. He's wearing #48 and his jersey says "Hunter" but he is not Torii. Torii Hunter has never had more than 23 steals in a season. No way is this basepath mence T-Hunt. If you still don't believe me, think back to the game against Detroit in the first inning. "Hunter" totally missed a routine popup and gave the Tigers a triple. Torii Hunter would never do that, would he? Case closed. Welcome the Twins newest centerfielder Torii Henderson.
posted by Jonzard at 6:03 PM
1 Comments:
This might be a little off topic, but I cant restrain myself. According the official Minnesota Twins website, there will be a "historic announcement regarding a new ballpark development plan" today at 2 CT. Is this "new era" a new ballpark???? I would personally give away a a close friend's or a relative's testicle for such a scenario.
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